Okay! I owe several people several things, and while I wasn’t on today I promise I’ll do them all soon! Sorry, my lovelies! Goodnight!
ok so I was messing with Doomsday and I sped it up 200%
and it turned into a happy folksong????
it’s so catchy
oh my god
this is the craziest thing ever lol
if this song doesnt win a reblog on its own, how perfect that gif is should win it for you.. oh my gosh
THAT GIF…. I am scared at how perfect it is.
Just so we’re clear if I say “shut up” and you say “make me” I am instantly thinking about making out with you
also just so we’re clear if you say “shut up” and i say “make me” that is most definitely an invitation to make out with me
She says so little but her face says so much
me neither, my dear kissy face, me neither
*blushes furiously* you’venevercalledmethatinpublicbefore,cookietemptress
"Theta …" River whispered. Her stomach still hurt and she was terrified but she couldn’t say anything, couldn’t hurt the Doctor like that. They’d spent months trying for a baby, using sperm donors, praying for River to fall pregnant with what would truly be a little miracle for them. And she had, but after two months … it seemed their dream was not to be.
River knew she needed to get to the medical bay, she needed to be sure that they’d lost their tiny baby. But she had felt that telltale pulling sensation and she knew it was the only possible answer. The beaming expression that the Doctor had had when she found out River was pregnant was still etched in her mind - she couldn’t bear to erase that joy, never wanted to be the bringer of the corresponding tears. So she did nothing, said nothing, merely cried into her knees.
River couldn’t stop the tears, and she could see more on the Doctor’s face. “I’m sorry, sweetie … you don’t have to hide … it’s my fault. I deserve to see the damage …”
"Just … just give me time to heal … please … help me …" River whispered, pleaded. "I can’t go there … not just yet …"
"No, no, I understand, I understand. Take all the time you need. We’ll go when you’re ready and healed… We’ll have our baby, River. Isis will have a sibling, and we can teach another child about the world," the Doctor murmured.
Finally allowing the tears to fall, she kissed her wife gently, pouring all of her love into the action.
River could do nothing but cling to her wife, nodding. “Another sister for our little girl … of course …” She melted into the Doctor’s hold, dissolving into tears again.
She returned the kiss, feeling all the love that the Doctor was putting into it and feeling relieved, so relieved that she didn’t hate her for what had happened. She dropped her head back onto the Doctor’s chest.
"Why does it still hurt," River whispered. "It hurts …"
10. (Trigger Warning) Your muse walks in on mine while they are sobbing, holding a gun to their chest. (Trigger Warning)
( I can’t do this anymore! )
River was shaking, just shaking, hands quivering.
( I don’t want to remember anymore … I’m sick of the memories … I’m sick of the nightmares …)
Out of the drawer, she pulled out the gun, the one that she slept with near her every night.
( I can’t let Clara get hurt because of me, not again, I’m a worthless piece of shit … she deserves better than me …)
She couldn’t let Clara or her get hurt, not by the Silence, not by the Doctor … couldn’t let something like that happen to Clara again … but River was sick of the shaking and sick of burdening Clara with someone as mixed up and shaken up and fucked up as she was.
( I need to go … then she can live her life without me, live a good life. )
( This is for the best. )
That was what she told herself as she lifted the cold metal of the gun up to her chest, pressing the end up to her ribcage so it left a cold circle on her skin.
That was what she told herself as she put her shaking fingers over the trigger, ready to end it all and send herself into the blackness.
It had only been a few weeks since the incident with the Doctor, since River had found her crying and bleeding in the shower. There were nights where she still wanted to cry, away from everything, where she suffered nightmares of the Doctor spiriting her away from the woman she loved.
All because of what he did to her.
"River? River, love, where-" she began, slowly opening the door to their room, seeing her lover with the gun.
She ran over, forcing the gun away from her, tears in her eyes. “What are you doing?! Don’t leave me alone, please! Don’t do that!”
( This is for the best. This is for her. )
She wasn’t going to let Clara stop her, because this was for Clara … she told herself that again and again but all she could do was sob more and more violently, fighting harder and harder until she had nearly shoved Clara backwards and ripped the gun back out of her hand.
( This is for the best. This is for her. )
"Stop!" River shouted, breathing so fast that she was starting to get dizzy, taking a few steps back with the gun still against her chest.
"Stop, or I’ll shoot it!"
( This is for the best. This is for her. )
(Trigger Warning) Your muse finds my muse in the shower, shaking and bleeding after being raped. (Trigger Warning)
It hurt, it hurt, everything just hurt! She was just getting things from the TARDIS, she had been sure he wasn’t there, because if he was, she was in trouble.
But he was there. He was angry at her, for taking River, called her names.
She remembered him tearing at her clothes, hurting her as he did so. There were still cuts on her body from whatever had hit her shoulder, it was still bleeding. She remembered him taking her, despite her screams and cries of no, over and over.
Clara felt so used after he had done that, and she didn’t want to remember anymore, but it was so fresh in her mind, so raw. Hell, she hadn’t even been with a man, and he had forced himself into her, even remembered what he growled in her ear.
"I can’t have River now… But you’re now my little toy, and I own you, so I can play with you whenever I want…"
She sobbed, curling up further into herself, unable to ignore the pain shooting through her body as the water from the shower hit her bruised and slightly bleeding skin.
She didn’t even hear the door open.
River stepped into the bathroom, expecting to be able to step into the shower with Clara, have a nice evening together afterwards, even. But then she looked down, towards the shower floor, and saw Clara curled there.
She listened closer, and heard sobs.
There were wounds and bruises all over her lover’s body, she was curled up into herself on the shower floor. River felt like she’d just been hit in the stomach, all the air knocked out of her lungs. She stepped into the shower, sending the spray all over the bathroom, clothes getting soaked but still not caring, and sat next to Clara.
"Clara, Clara, what’s happened!" She was speaking softly, trying to keep the utter panic out of her voice but failing. "Clara … my love, look at me!" River carefully put an arm around her shoulders, trying to get control of her own breathing and to help Clara with hers, to help control the sobs. "Sweetheart, talk to me, my love …"
Clara tried to move away from River when she came in, muttering again and again for her to go away, to leave her, that it just hurt so much.
She ended up clinging to her though, trembling as she sobbed into her shoulder, pain still shooting through her.
"I… I was getting my things… From the TARDIS… I thought he wasn’t there, I could have sworn he was gone for the day! He found me, River, he… He found me…"
She took a shuddering breath, whispering, “He raped me… Called me a toy he owned… River, I’m scared… I’m scared, I hurt…”
Though Clara began to pull away when River came in, River didn’t move, didn’t leave. There was no way that she’d leave her lover like this. Not now or ever. And she felt oddly relieved, really, when Clara held onto her - River wrapped her arms around the younger woman’s small form, keeping her close and staying steady through Clara’s trembling. River listened, shock like she’d just run into a brick wall coursing through her. She should have gone with her, she shouldn’t ever let her go to the TARDIS alone!
"R-raped you …"
River couldn’t breathe. “Oh … oh my love …” River pulled Clara up onto her lap, keeping her arms tight around her. “He doesn’t own you … he doesn’t … you’re not owned, not a toy or even … or even my little doll …” She smoothed her hands down Clara’s back, trying to help her through the pain and fear. “I know you’re scared, I know, but you never have to leave my side again if you don’t want, I can keep you safe. You’re safe, you’re safe …”
She could have lost her love, the woman who had both of her hearts, who mattered more to her than anyone in the world. She wanted to cry as well, but her Clara was falling apart.
River had to hide the damage, had to be strong.